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A dash of Yoruba sauce

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If you have never been insulted by a Yoruba female person who knows her sauce onions, you should count yourself lucky. Five words out of those sneering lips could send the most self-confident grown-up man on his way to the psychiatrist. She only has to say "e wo bo se ri" , meaning :"just see how he looks", and a fire is instantly ignited in your head. You immediately go looking for a shop with glass front so that you can "just see how he looks". There you spend five minutes examining yourself from every angle and perpective.You also watch the faces of passers-by whether they are more successful with "just see how he looks".

Of course, you aren't going to find anything amiss, but you are not going to take chances are you ? So you go looking all over for true friends who will never hold back the truth from you no matter the circumstances. And you ask them sincere questions: have you grown invisible horns ? Have you gotten fat , with your ass and stomach jutting out? Have your eyes, ears or booger become bigger overnight and only you cannot see? Do you smell like you've got crap all over your clothes? But all your enquiries will come out negative. Still you can't sleep at night because you haven't yet found out the "just see how he looks".

A week or so of more psychological suffering passes, and you live in the persistent belief that everyone in the world is laughing at you behind your back, because only you has not been able to "just see how he looks". Your confidence finally crumbles and you eat humble pie. You go seeking out the person who did this evil thing to you, and even if she is merely a 12 year old girl, you fall on your stomach before her to ask forgiveness. And after making peace, you humbly draw near her and ask in a whisper: can you please tell me how I look . Please tell me what dies not look right about me . Please !