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Soft Sell - (advertisement for myself)

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My hands are embarrassingly soft. I have had them that way since I was a kid , and I do remember that I habitually kept them tucked in my pockets in my late teen years ; because guys made jokes about them. Indeed they did cost me a job once. Reporting at a construction site as site engineer; the contractor shook my hand and promptly called my boss to have me replaced. To him my hands felt like they’d never done a day’s work and I guess he didn’t want to get sued in case of a highly probable accident. A long time before that, on the other hand , I also do remember this lady, an advertising executive who would once in a while call me up just to shake my hand. She said they calmed her and made her feel good.

I indeed have healing hands. I only need to touch a crying toddler and they stop and stretch out their arms asking to be picked up. Quite often I lightly touch an angry person on the shoulder and the fury just deflates. Okay the last bit doesn’t work all the time and I think I have got punched a couple of times by a guy or roughly pushed away by a lady as reward for the effrontery. You can’t win all the time. Nevertheless I am convinced that I have healing hands – magic hands. I could make a fortune when I do finally get around to using them as intended.

I have embarrassingly sharp eyes–few people can engage them for five seconds. Many have described them as so piercing that they seem to see deep into your soul. This I think must be extremely unsettling for people up to no good – and that is why my close friends and associates tend to be strangers to intrigue. Like my hands, the eyes I didn’t create so; I came with them. Like my hands the eyes have the same effect on crying kids, and insane adults. They are magic eyes; healing eyes. I could make a fortune when I do finally get around to using them as intended.

I have an embarrassingly soft voice. Never mind though; calming is how my voice has been most times described.They are indeed calming, when I am not desperately looking for money to pay a rogue bill or several of them– but I guess I can in such circumstances be forgiven the temporary angst. And like my hands and my eyes…… I needn’t go on and on. All in all, I think I am a naturally pleasant person,thank you. I could indeed make a fortune by using my natural qualities. I could make millions going around the world, shaking troubled hands, calming weeping babies,hugging distressed souls, mesmerising miscreants with my magic eyes, and being just my pleasant self .Theoretically.

So of what relevance is the foregoing in the cosmos of stomach-destined things – also known as the big picture?What point am I trying to make with this convoluted invocation? None at all I am afraid; sometimes I just feel like talking about myself. :D

Okay, off you go now.